Starring

Nobody

In Brief

A totally new group of people attempt to defy death after they’re all saved by a premonition. I’m really trying to go into more depth here, but.. nothing.

The Beef

I’ll admit it, these movies are usually a guilty pleasure of mine. The story is always the same, but it’s all about the crazy ways the writers can kill people anyway. This one came up short though and has left me wondering whether I’m over this series. There were a few new death cuts as always, but largely the writers fell back on the always reliable explosions and car accidents. There was even a return to the nail gun from the last installment. Maybe they were cramped for time. They used two long cut-back scenes (like the intro always is), both several minutes long, and they still only managed to squeeze 82 minutes out of this thing. It just wasn’t a good effort.

Or maybe it’s the sick taste left in my mouth after these idiots decided it would be a good idea to recreate the horrible death of a 7 year old. This girl died less than 2 years ago, so if you factor in the time to create and release this movie, it’s like these winners wrote it in as soon as they heard it was possible. That’s fucked up.

Either way, don’t waste your time with this one.

2/5 (Bad)

Weigh In

214 lbs.

Or Matt’s Movies in Motion! Gay I know, but I mostly like the acronym “MMM”. Basically I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately, and the reason is that I take my little netbook down to the workout room and watch them while I bike. I only do about 45 minutes a session (give or take 10 minutes) but I can get through a movie every two days. I’ve wanted to start posting reviews for a while now, so maybe I can take care of two birds with one stone here and possibly stay motivated on the bike.

For starters I’ll post my weight with each review. If it doesn’t go down I’ll probably stop doing that and just post the reviews .

Let’s see how long this one lasts!

I should mention here that my rating scale is reflective of the type of movie I’m watching. I might give Ace Ventura: Pet Detective the same rating as the Graduate, but that doesn’t mean I consider the two films to be on equal grounds in quality. My ratings will purely be about how much I enjoyed the movie.

By the way – on my latest trip down to AZ to visit Josh I watched movies there and back on the 2.5 hour flight without recharging the netbook. I fuckin love this thing.

Starring

Gerard Butler, Amber Valetta

In Brief

In the future, the world is addicted to two games: one, a virtual-reality version of the Sims called Society; the other, a Call of Duty clone called Slayers. The catch is that everyone in both games is a real person, controlled via the “nanex” with implanted cells. Of course, since people are dying, the players or “icons” for Slayers are death-row inmates. One icon, Kable, and his “real life” player are decidedly close to hitting the 30 round maximum required for a Slayer to be released. The games’ creator (the ‘crazy genius’ type) will stop at nothing to make sure he never gets out.

The Beef

Yeah yeah, we’ve seen it all before. It’s not the first movie to have a plot like this (see: Death Race). But it does have an interesting mix of elements from Death Race, the Matrix and a few other movies, all set with a plot that moves like the recent Jason Statham movies, Crank and Crank: High Voltage. That is to say – it moves like a damned bullet train. With a pace like that, you don’t really care about how good the plot or acting is. In fact, it’s not terribly acted, save the always pathetic performance of Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges – who serves only to annoy me in every movie he’s ever been in. I enjoyed this one a lot. It’s not intellectual movie fare, but it’s fast-paced, full of boobs and blood and the gaming references are plentiful.

4/5 (Good)

Weigh In

214 lbs.